acceptance

ever had a game you can not beat? you cant out think the game, your reactions arent fast enough, your emotions over ride your thoughts, frustration seeps in, quitting is nearing, you throw the game down and walk away angry that you cant beat the game. accepting that you just can not beat the game.

talking to that girl you really like but it doesnt seem you are holding her attention very well, thinking what else to say to keep her eyes on you, seeing her eyes go to her phone or something outside, all you want is for her to want you as bad as you want her, trying to change to what she will like just to have her, seeing her slip away, seeing you become your normal self and seeing the friction grow between you two, seeing her do things you dont like, knowing you cant change her or have her, wanting to be with her 24/7, seeing her kiss other boys around town, seeing her walk away and you getting mad because you cant have her. accepting that you arent good enough for her and you never will be and that you just dont have what she wants... that sucks because you want her so bad, yet you arent what she wants.

seeing your friend have an intrest in something that you dont think is who they are, they talk about it or do it and you get dissapointed in them because you thought they wernt like that. looking at them seeing their good girl/boy side and then talking to them when you cant see them and hearing them talk about what they want and what they dont want to do thinking that you didnt think they were like that, getting frustrated because you cant change them or dont have the power to. knowing they dont care what you say because you arent good enough friends yet. wanting to be there to make every decision they make to keep them pure and who you know them too be because who you think they are is the girl/boy you love to death. you want them to stay that guy/girl. accepting that you cant change someone to your specifications and just having to fake happiness when ever they talk to you about something you dont like.

seeing a cute boy in your class, trying to casually flirt without making him notice that you are trying to get to know him, trying to make him want to get to know you too, talking to his friends when he is not around to get information about him, talking to him first on myspace/facebook to not have the awkwardness of talking in personf or the first time, asking for his number hoping he doesnt reject you or say he has a girlfriend, not wanting to stop talking to him but all he ever does is end conversations, getting upset because he wont talk to you, having him talk to you finally only to ask for girl help, faking a smile so he wont see that you care so much about him, crying when he gets that girl you helped him with but not wanting to cry becaues you made him happy. accepting the fact that he doesnt want you like you want him and that you simply just do not hold a spark of intrest for him. accepting that he will never think of you that way no matter how much you help him or how nice you are too him, he just isnt what you want.

see her name on facebook as online, so you i.m her, she says hi back, and you slowly start a conversation, she starts having few word answers and leaves it at that, you having to replenish the conversation by asking a question to keep her intrested knowing that she already has lost intrest long ago, you continue to ask annoying questions that are just digging the hole deeper. seeing her response time lengthen and then she just doesnt write back so you put a ? so tthat hopefully she will see it and write back because you think that she just "didnt see" that you wrote her. finally giving up after her responses only got worse and accepting the fact that shes just not that in to you...

getting call after call, text after text, wink after wink, seeing girls one after another tell you they like you and want to be with you, that try everything to be yours, to make you intrested in them, change themselves for you, having to deal with the fact that you dont want them, you want ONE girl, but your not good enough for her. seeing girl after wave crash against your unwaivering wall of rejection only to fall back down the ocean floor. they all say "dont forget me" but very few will i not forget. very few. accepting that i can be a life changer to some people, yet to others, i cant even dent the surface to their minds.