pacing back and forth, wondering if i should call you. dialing the numbers, listening to my heart pound in my chest. feeling a chill run throughout my body as the ring echos in my ear. "i should hang up! what if her dad answers? what if he sayd i ca never talk to her again!? God! just hang up!" and right then, i hear the most calm voice. a voice that almost always calms me, brings me good news, the only voice htat i trust completly. "hello?" she asks.
"hey! what happened? can you talk?"
"no, i cant talk to you right now."
"ever? or just now?" i started to get really scared and worried.
"i just cant talk to you. i told them everything."
everything?"
"yeah, everything. i told them everything"
"o my god." i started screaming to myself. the sound of the unheard yells inturrupt me for a second.
"but i have to go, ill talk to you later."
"oh, alright, bye." what a shitty response =/ blah
"bye"
my mind races thinking up new possibilities of what happened. previously wanting to take a bath, the idea now does not seem so great. "i have to wait by the phone. what if she calls? just wait till she calls." now, i sit here, waiting, writing, thinking, and breaking down. waiting for a call that hasnt, isnt, and will most likely never come. could this one be our down fall?
i must say, i am soo happy i didnt do what they had wanted me to do tonight. soo glad. =]
i love you.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
goodnight
well, what i was going to say.
i hope you know, i already have something in mind. i am making the same mistake for the third time in a row. i just realized that and i wont be making that mistake.
goodnight, i love you,
sweet dreams
i hope you know, i already have something in mind. i am making the same mistake for the third time in a row. i just realized that and i wont be making that mistake.
goodnight, i love you,
sweet dreams
shame
i can no longer dream of you.
not that i cant, but it kills me too. i cant fall asleep with you in my mind because my heart beats too fast. its truely a shame
not that i cant, but it kills me too. i cant fall asleep with you in my mind because my heart beats too fast. its truely a shame
Monday, April 26, 2010
shitty timing
last blog for the night. its 11 35.
WHAT AM I DOING!? how could i be doing this so soon? already? really will? come on.not yet, dont do it yet. its too early1!!!!!!
WHAT AM I DOING!? how could i be doing this so soon? already? really will? come on.not yet, dont do it yet. its too early1!!!!!!
book. think of a book
you insist. you always have.
i keep telling you. i always have. i keep telling you im a life ruiner. ha, silly name, but oh so very true. sooo true. many people can agree with me on that. yet you refuse to agree, or listen. thats fine, i appreciate optimisim, but im just warning you. the writings and pages inside me do not compliment my title or the pictures or words on the outside of me. i am drastically different, with few similarities. again, im just warning you now.
i keep telling you. i always have. i keep telling you im a life ruiner. ha, silly name, but oh so very true. sooo true. many people can agree with me on that. yet you refuse to agree, or listen. thats fine, i appreciate optimisim, but im just warning you. the writings and pages inside me do not compliment my title or the pictures or words on the outside of me. i am drastically different, with few similarities. again, im just warning you now.
running
escape is not possible. denial is. you can not run from it, or hide, but you can deny it. do your best.
for everyone, but me.
alright. suit yourself?
sue it yourself? sew it yourself? be strong, please. for you, your parents, and morgan, and any friends that come your way.
sue it yourself? sew it yourself? be strong, please. for you, your parents, and morgan, and any friends that come your way.
jump
giving you strength.
i always seem to do it at the worst times. i always encourage people to do things i dont want them to do. DARE them to take the leap, PUSH them over the edge. why? if i do that, why am i suprised when they actually jump?
i always seem to do it at the worst times. i always encourage people to do things i dont want them to do. DARE them to take the leap, PUSH them over the edge. why? if i do that, why am i suprised when they actually jump?
for you
i have to be honest.
i hope your crying. because i feel it may be the last thing we do at the same time. i odnt know if your reading these. if i know you, your constantly refreshing the page every few minutes like i am. i dont know if this will be definite. i dont think so, i definitely dont hope so, but who knows.
i hope you have a great night, or, as least bad as it could possibly be =], and have a great day tomorrow. by the way, im still going to the beach on wednesday, you welcome to come, the invitation is already given, just let me know.
i hope your crying. because i feel it may be the last thing we do at the same time. i odnt know if your reading these. if i know you, your constantly refreshing the page every few minutes like i am. i dont know if this will be definite. i dont think so, i definitely dont hope so, but who knows.
i hope you have a great night, or, as least bad as it could possibly be =], and have a great day tomorrow. by the way, im still going to the beach on wednesday, you welcome to come, the invitation is already given, just let me know.
oo! that feeling once more
i will try to replicate it as exact as possible.
i would really love a hug right now.
no, i dont want a hug. i want someone to lay with.
to just lay on my bed with. in the silence while i listen to them breath, in the booming noise of our hearts beating, in the darkness, in the light, in the cold, and in warmth, to lay with me in lonliness and company, to be still, yet mentally restless.
o, a feeling i have not truely felt in months. its time for that feeling to come back around, but, surely it wont happen for a while.
well, above is what i thought i wrote. now below is what i actually wrote.
just, lay down with, listen to them breath, imagine i could hear their heart beat, in the silence, the dark, the coldness, the warmth, the lonliness, the company
i would really love a hug right now.
no, i dont want a hug. i want someone to lay with.
to just lay on my bed with. in the silence while i listen to them breath, in the booming noise of our hearts beating, in the darkness, in the light, in the cold, and in warmth, to lay with me in lonliness and company, to be still, yet mentally restless.
o, a feeling i have not truely felt in months. its time for that feeling to come back around, but, surely it wont happen for a while.
well, above is what i thought i wrote. now below is what i actually wrote.
just, lay down with, listen to them breath, imagine i could hear their heart beat, in the silence, the dark, the coldness, the warmth, the lonliness, the company
I swear that you don't have to go I thought we could wait for the fireworks I thought we could wait for the snow To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt I thought I could live in your arms And spend every moment I had with you Stay up all night with the stars Confess all the faith that I had in you
apparently not this time =/.
some things i said about us.
its because of our constant itch to be with eachother. our nack to come back to eachother some how. we always look to eachother for guidance, for love, support, care, protection, and a friend. its that we love eachother so much, we dont want to let go. we dont want to accept the fact that they might be intrested in someone else. we understand eachother so well, that we nick and pick at everylittle thing, JUST to bug the other. i do that more than she does.
(9:15:38 PM): we love eachother, to the ends of the earth.
apparently not this time =/.
some things i said about us.
its because of our constant itch to be with eachother. our nack to come back to eachother some how. we always look to eachother for guidance, for love, support, care, protection, and a friend. its that we love eachother so much, we dont want to let go. we dont want to accept the fact that they might be intrested in someone else. we understand eachother so well, that we nick and pick at everylittle thing, JUST to bug the other. i do that more than she does.
(9:15:38 PM): we love eachother, to the ends of the earth.
prolonging.
lets see. im guessing that your thinking that you dont want to be friends with me anymore. HA, thats somewhat of what i have to say to that. now your probably saying, well ill show him! again, we have tried that in the past. if you honestly dont wish to be my friend, let me know, but i think any effort less than 110% is useless effort. not that i dont believe in you, thats just an educated guess based on the previous attempts to not be friends.
i wish we could do it how i planned. how i wanted to last wednesday. we were only going to break up until we got our problems figured out. i wouldnt not be talking to other girls like that, i hope you know. ive been tested in that department several times so far and each time i have proven myself that i can do it eaisly. i dont think you care about that anymore though. apparently your plans have far succeded mine. i think i speak for the both of us when i say that today killed me. i dont want another chance, for a chance is not what is needed. just a prolonging of the one i was already on.
i will see you tonight, and most likely cry as you most likely will do so when you get home. this doesnt have to be this way, this doesnt have to be this way.
you know that i want you to want me, you want to!
you know that i want you to want me, you want to!
i wish we could do it how i planned. how i wanted to last wednesday. we were only going to break up until we got our problems figured out. i wouldnt not be talking to other girls like that, i hope you know. ive been tested in that department several times so far and each time i have proven myself that i can do it eaisly. i dont think you care about that anymore though. apparently your plans have far succeded mine. i think i speak for the both of us when i say that today killed me. i dont want another chance, for a chance is not what is needed. just a prolonging of the one i was already on.
i will see you tonight, and most likely cry as you most likely will do so when you get home. this doesnt have to be this way, this doesnt have to be this way.
you know that i want you to want me, you want to!
you know that i want you to want me, you want to!
dont talk
i can not trust you, at all. and you cant trust me, at all.
lets just call it even and dont talk?
lets just call it even and dont talk?
can not be trusted?
you can not trust me. ive told you that for a while. ive told you that i lie, that i hurt people, that im rude and mean and again, dishonest. ive told most people that actually.
lieing. its something ive done forever. something ive grown comfortable with. i feel comfortable with it because, ive learned while living in my family, that if you like to keep the sanity, do anything and everything. that includes lieing. ive lied countless times, mostly though, to keep the peace in the house, or the relationship. there are those times where i have actually done something wrong and i have to lie about it. almost always though do i end up comming out about it somewhere down the line. but just like you, 2 of the 3 people that will read this, i am trying to not lie nearly as much. dont say its too late because its just the same for you. we all lie, dont tell yourself you dont because youd be doing so in the process.
lieing. its something ive done forever. something ive grown comfortable with. i feel comfortable with it because, ive learned while living in my family, that if you like to keep the sanity, do anything and everything. that includes lieing. ive lied countless times, mostly though, to keep the peace in the house, or the relationship. there are those times where i have actually done something wrong and i have to lie about it. almost always though do i end up comming out about it somewhere down the line. but just like you, 2 of the 3 people that will read this, i am trying to not lie nearly as much. dont say its too late because its just the same for you. we all lie, dont tell yourself you dont because youd be doing so in the process.
Monday, April 19, 2010
leave the past behind. tomorrow is a new day.
i thought you were done with the past?
i thought you had forgotten it and moved on?
been ready to make a new chapter?
that chapter didnt happen, but you always said that your lack of commitment wasnt because of your past.
you said it had nothing to do with it.
i think you were lying when you told me that. i guess i always saw how muh deeper it hit you than, at the time, you even wanted to realize. i hate that it still hurts you? why? was it that special o f a chapter in your life? why is it still haunting you to this day?
well, i hate it. i dont know what to do to make it better. actually, i would bet that there is nothing that i, myself, could do to help you. there never has been anything i could do.....
i thought you had forgotten it and moved on?
been ready to make a new chapter?
that chapter didnt happen, but you always said that your lack of commitment wasnt because of your past.
you said it had nothing to do with it.
i think you were lying when you told me that. i guess i always saw how muh deeper it hit you than, at the time, you even wanted to realize. i hate that it still hurts you? why? was it that special o f a chapter in your life? why is it still haunting you to this day?
well, i hate it. i dont know what to do to make it better. actually, i would bet that there is nothing that i, myself, could do to help you. there never has been anything i could do.....
Sunday, April 18, 2010
apparel....
you simply do not fit. you are suposed to fit perfectly. surround me with your warmth, your protection and your comfort. i rely on you so much for you to do your not so hard job, but you cant. did i buy the wrong package? should i have gotten something else?
warmth- you are warm, not because you are made to be, but because your discomfort adds pressure to me, which causes warmth.
protection- i guess your protection is fine, you give more than what is needed though.
comfort- you arent comfortable. bowing out wherei need you to bow in. curving where i need you to be straight.
i think i did buy something i only wish to return.... bummer im stuck with you.
i wish you knew that i was just going to take everything good out of you and overtime, wear you out. then, once your of no use to me, i will throw you out and move on to the next. but you wont realize that, your not smart enough
warmth- you are warm, not because you are made to be, but because your discomfort adds pressure to me, which causes warmth.
protection- i guess your protection is fine, you give more than what is needed though.
comfort- you arent comfortable. bowing out wherei need you to bow in. curving where i need you to be straight.
i think i did buy something i only wish to return.... bummer im stuck with you.
i wish you knew that i was just going to take everything good out of you and overtime, wear you out. then, once your of no use to me, i will throw you out and move on to the next. but you wont realize that, your not smart enough
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
war
every day, im bombarded with discouragement to do, what i really want to do. from my friends to my mother all the way down to propaganda. after watching the hurtlocker, the following day, my mother asked me, "william, what if you die? what am i going to do? how could i move on?" i always hated the line "to die for my country is the greatest honor." but its so true. i would love to die if it means the freedom of my loved ones. i would be proud to say i am in the military but i just wish, everyone around me would be as proud. ive never done anything that i know would make my mother upset, but this, this one thing is something thati will do no matter who opposes me, whether that be chloe, or zech, nick or my own mom. i am doing this reguardless. i dont know why i want it so bad, but i really do, almost more than anything. to wear the uniform, to be in that family, to have that responsibility, to be the leader, to be the man, ive never been able to know. possibly those, but i doubt that really is the sole reason.
parents
A lemonade stand. usually kids between the ages of 4-10 do these. what does this mean? does it mean that they recognise that it is important to have money? that they want to be a working class person like their parents (hopefully)? do they just want to have fun?
i think that they want to have a job, be productive, make money, be a grown up, all without knowing it. no 4-10 year old can see the reasons for why they would do this because to them, they just want to have fun and be like their parents, but they dont know what about their parents they want to be like.
did i get lucky or what?! its suprising, appaling, sometimes outrageous, but it shouldnt be. i know, i have known that i grew up with easy going parents. i was never introduced to the extremes that some parents take it. sneaking out. my parents arent HAPPY i do it, but they dont get really mad. now some parents would flip a bitch. they would have a coniption. why? see, i know the reason for that but come on, loosen up a little bit. thats how i am anyhow. he has a lip ring, you cant date him! why? because i have a lip ring doesnt mean anything, your just trying to protect her from something that you dont understand. keep your door open. why? im sleeping, i can have my privacy right? i am a big kid right? i am 16 right? what are you worried im going to do? masterbate? who fucking cares, im sure you did it when you were my age, stfu. mom, can i go with them on their trip? is there a parent going?! how old are they? who are they?! who else is going? do they smoke? are you going to smoke? i need to give them your medical card just incase! i dont want you doing anything. o, that boy is going! nope cant go, i think he might have gotten suspended one time, hes a bad influence. GO TO BED! ITS 7 30! (man have i heard that one alot) please 15 more minutes? no, its a weeknight (during the summer)!
come on, really parents? why are you so uptight? you wonder why you dont have a good relationship with your kids? im not saying i turned out perfect because i most certainly did not, but i would say that the relationship with my parents is much better than that of your relationship with your kids. now i hope anyone that is reading this is not thinking this is just about their parents. it might hae a part from your parents but it is not about them what so ever.
i just wish parents, accross the board, were more leinant, relaxed, caring, but carefree.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
persons
person 1. we get along better than anyone i know (sometimes) and other times, we get in annoying moods where we bug eachother. i hate when we get in these moods i really do. i like how in a matter of hours, all past problems can be forgotten, and we can move on. i like how we understand eachother.
person 2. we havent talked much lately. not sure if thats because of something said or done or just the way you and i are, but i have to say, its not something i dont like knowing. you confuse me, probably more than anyone else. and i hate that. hope you had a fun break!
person 3. we havent talked much eaither. you seem more distant lately, like you dont care. i know you do because i read your blogs that secretly have to do with me. i dont want to lose you, but it looks like thats the only choice im given.
now, chloe, dont ask me who is who. PLEASE. =]
person 2. we havent talked much lately. not sure if thats because of something said or done or just the way you and i are, but i have to say, its not something i dont like knowing. you confuse me, probably more than anyone else. and i hate that. hope you had a fun break!
person 3. we havent talked much eaither. you seem more distant lately, like you dont care. i know you do because i read your blogs that secretly have to do with me. i dont want to lose you, but it looks like thats the only choice im given.
now, chloe, dont ask me who is who. PLEASE. =]
questions
question, according to dictionary.com- a sentence in an interrogative form, addressed to someone in order to get information in reply.
why does everyone hate my questions?
i just want to know information. my friends hate my questions, my parents hate my questions, my dentists, doctors, football coaches hate my questions. i never thought asking questions would cause this much dislike. as for my doctors, dentist goes, i wish they would see that all im doing is trying to learn. thats all
for my friends, i just want to know more about you, more about the situation, figureout how you think and feel. try not to get so mad at them, because once i know the information, there will be no more questions.
for my family, suck it up, you have me for the rest of your life.
but just dont get mad, or annoyed. i know, it seems like its neverending. but i guess, your just dealing with a curious friend who wants to know everything if he could.
why does everyone hate my questions?
i just want to know information. my friends hate my questions, my parents hate my questions, my dentists, doctors, football coaches hate my questions. i never thought asking questions would cause this much dislike. as for my doctors, dentist goes, i wish they would see that all im doing is trying to learn. thats all
for my friends, i just want to know more about you, more about the situation, figureout how you think and feel. try not to get so mad at them, because once i know the information, there will be no more questions.
for my family, suck it up, you have me for the rest of your life.
but just dont get mad, or annoyed. i know, it seems like its neverending. but i guess, your just dealing with a curious friend who wants to know everything if he could.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
o golly
first off, i decided to write today. not because i had a real inclination to do so, but because i noticed an increase in thought going on in my head about different people and different things.... o and the fact that you all are annoyed that i dont write anything =]. i think that to inspire me to write, you all should write more too.... no excuses.
place 1: your cool air dries out my face as i whip through you. your trees give a calming aroma, your setting couldnt be more perfect. looking out into the distance, i see a desert, but i am standing on a mountain covered in snow. it lets me know that i am not far from home. "i am going to need a practice run" he says. i laugh because i need about 2 feet to get back into the fluent feeling seat that i love sitting in. curving, cutting, breaking the ground below me feels as if its as natural as walking. do i look cool? yea i probally do. im really good at this! no wonder i will go to such great lenghts to be able to do this.
place 2: usually, i dont see you very often. usually maybe MAYBE 3 times a year. for where i live, that is unheard of. lately, in the past couple months, i have seen you more than 3 times. more than i usually ever would. i love being with you, your breath, your smell, your touch. your skin warms me up when i touch it, your breath, can eaither cause shriveles or it can cause you to get all loosey goosey. i love being with you. hopefully, i will see you soon.
person 1: we have not hung out in a while. im afraid that i dont want this friendship. i dont know what to do though. it would hurt you to tell you that, but i think its the truth. if feel used.
person 2: im not sure what you want from me. sometimes it seems more than expected, other times it seems less than expected. i like being with you but its against the rules. you call me a rebel, should i rebel against those rules too? our ability to just sit there and have nothing going on and not be bored is unheard of. you say you were bored, but i really doubt you were. with you around, everything gets jumbled up. its like a thing of cotton candy. its a disaster of sticky, sweet shit, but it tastes so good.
person 3: i am becomming more and more used to your presence. it is not wanted by many, but it one that i love having around. we get along most of the time, actually, alot of the time, but there are those times where we cant stand eachother. i love being with you, the memories we have had together, the memories to come. i am happy of our situation now. i am, i truely am. i honestly hope, this is something that stays for a while and when it passes, lets not cry, because we will be better friends because of it
place 1: your cool air dries out my face as i whip through you. your trees give a calming aroma, your setting couldnt be more perfect. looking out into the distance, i see a desert, but i am standing on a mountain covered in snow. it lets me know that i am not far from home. "i am going to need a practice run" he says. i laugh because i need about 2 feet to get back into the fluent feeling seat that i love sitting in. curving, cutting, breaking the ground below me feels as if its as natural as walking. do i look cool? yea i probally do. im really good at this! no wonder i will go to such great lenghts to be able to do this.
place 2: usually, i dont see you very often. usually maybe MAYBE 3 times a year. for where i live, that is unheard of. lately, in the past couple months, i have seen you more than 3 times. more than i usually ever would. i love being with you, your breath, your smell, your touch. your skin warms me up when i touch it, your breath, can eaither cause shriveles or it can cause you to get all loosey goosey. i love being with you. hopefully, i will see you soon.
person 1: we have not hung out in a while. im afraid that i dont want this friendship. i dont know what to do though. it would hurt you to tell you that, but i think its the truth. if feel used.
person 2: im not sure what you want from me. sometimes it seems more than expected, other times it seems less than expected. i like being with you but its against the rules. you call me a rebel, should i rebel against those rules too? our ability to just sit there and have nothing going on and not be bored is unheard of. you say you were bored, but i really doubt you were. with you around, everything gets jumbled up. its like a thing of cotton candy. its a disaster of sticky, sweet shit, but it tastes so good.
person 3: i am becomming more and more used to your presence. it is not wanted by many, but it one that i love having around. we get along most of the time, actually, alot of the time, but there are those times where we cant stand eachother. i love being with you, the memories we have had together, the memories to come. i am happy of our situation now. i am, i truely am. i honestly hope, this is something that stays for a while and when it passes, lets not cry, because we will be better friends because of it
Thursday, April 1, 2010
bad luck
bad luck? good luck? is there such thing as eaither?
why do people insist on alway saying "i have such bad luck." or " knowing me "blank" would happen" or "THAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME."
is there such thing as bad luck?
no. there is not
if you think about it. there are many different ways a situation could play out. you want it to play out one certain way when there are 100s of other possibilities. so it is merely chance that you would have good luck than bad luck. so, no you dont have bad luck, just chances arent in your favor.
why do people insist on alway saying "i have such bad luck." or " knowing me "blank" would happen" or "THAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME."
is there such thing as bad luck?
no. there is not
if you think about it. there are many different ways a situation could play out. you want it to play out one certain way when there are 100s of other possibilities. so it is merely chance that you would have good luck than bad luck. so, no you dont have bad luck, just chances arent in your favor.
romance
tonight, we saw Last Song.
it impacted me more than expected, and in ways which were more than likely, unintended.
not only did it give me an insight into what i am looking for in myself but also in someone else. it also showed me all the ridiclous impossible things that go on with movies. ill start with that
-one minute his shirt is sweaty, next scene, still standing in the same place, its not sweaty anymore.
-a piano, sitting with other instruments, happens to be PERFECTLY tuned for that song...
- the boy just happens to have a connection with her father. he also just happens to be the one that works at the aquarium, he just also thinks "im going to go stand 300 feet infront of her house so that hopefully she sees me... that doesnt happen.
- the boy just knows exactly what to say to her, to her brother, to her father.... thats just never going to happen.
now, reguarding the other thing.
i hate saying this because my mother always told me to never read love stories or marry a woman who reads love stories all the time. the reason she told me, was that the men in those stories are PERFECT. tall, strong, caring, athletic, a MAN, just PERFECT and that if a woman reads too many of those books, she will grow an idea that men are like that or that all she wants in this man in a book and that no other man can surpass a man made from words. she never mentioned it, but it can also go that way with men. its funny sometimes. i will watch a love story with a perfect girl. absolutly perfect. cute, caring, knows how to treat a guy, knows how to still be the loving girl. after i watch the movies, i will think "i want a girl like that. why cant i have that."
i notice these thoughts going through my mind of what i want my woman to be like. but THATS NOT REAL.
i know what i want my future woman to be like. i say my "future woman" because i know, that you and i will not be together. i would be lying if i told myself that. so for now, i am happy with you, i am more than happy with you. but i know what i want my future wife to be like. whether i am basing her off a movie or not, thats what i am looking for. or, will be looking for sometime in the vast future.
it impacted me more than expected, and in ways which were more than likely, unintended.
not only did it give me an insight into what i am looking for in myself but also in someone else. it also showed me all the ridiclous impossible things that go on with movies. ill start with that
-one minute his shirt is sweaty, next scene, still standing in the same place, its not sweaty anymore.
-a piano, sitting with other instruments, happens to be PERFECTLY tuned for that song...
- the boy just happens to have a connection with her father. he also just happens to be the one that works at the aquarium, he just also thinks "im going to go stand 300 feet infront of her house so that hopefully she sees me... that doesnt happen.
- the boy just knows exactly what to say to her, to her brother, to her father.... thats just never going to happen.
now, reguarding the other thing.
i hate saying this because my mother always told me to never read love stories or marry a woman who reads love stories all the time. the reason she told me, was that the men in those stories are PERFECT. tall, strong, caring, athletic, a MAN, just PERFECT and that if a woman reads too many of those books, she will grow an idea that men are like that or that all she wants in this man in a book and that no other man can surpass a man made from words. she never mentioned it, but it can also go that way with men. its funny sometimes. i will watch a love story with a perfect girl. absolutly perfect. cute, caring, knows how to treat a guy, knows how to still be the loving girl. after i watch the movies, i will think "i want a girl like that. why cant i have that."
i notice these thoughts going through my mind of what i want my woman to be like. but THATS NOT REAL.
i know what i want my future woman to be like. i say my "future woman" because i know, that you and i will not be together. i would be lying if i told myself that. so for now, i am happy with you, i am more than happy with you. but i know what i want my future wife to be like. whether i am basing her off a movie or not, thats what i am looking for. or, will be looking for sometime in the vast future.
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