dissapointment

dissapointment is a feeling we all feel somewhere in our lives. it is inevitable. i believe dissapointment derives from getting your hopes up higher than that of the event taken place or higher than that of someone else. dissapointment is seems to be just weight on your shoulders, the more you have, the heavier it feels. maybe thats why my back has been hurting so bad lately.

you have been suprising me lately to no end. With your ever-changing feelings, your moodswings, your suprising attitudes. i was hoping you wouldnt have feelings for me. that seems impossible to come by now-a-days. i thought it would be easy if you didnt have feelings for me because it could have made your ongoing stay much more pleasant for the both of us. i told you i had feelings for you but in all honesty, i dont know where my feelings stand right now.. for anyone. everything changes by the hour. no joke. kind of like your attitude. one minute your in love with me and cant stop talking to me, the next your saying how you dont like the thought of me and that you could be better off without me. im sure you would be.... so go?

you have been suprising me lately to no end. also, with your ever-changing feelings, your rude gestures, your lack of attention towards someone who couldnt show you more. it seems over the recent conversations, you have gotten more hostile towards me. why that is, maybe we dont mesh, we usually get along better than anyone, but that seems to only be in person. if you dont like who i am, dont talk to me. your day might be better off without me. im sure it would be..... so go?

you have been suprising me lately to no end. your resilient feelings that refuse to waver through rough patches. you want me to be with you so bad. you told me last night how much you wanted me to be yours and no one elses but you cant have that. well i am going to relieve you from your stress. its not going to happen. not now. i love you as i say i do but i can not have mixed feelings about a relationship. when im with you i think that icouldnt be with a better girl, but when imnot with you, those feelings which were so abundant in your presense (spelled wrong), are so indangered when i am not. this does not mean our friendship is over, this just means youll be mad at me for a little bit. best friends we remain. your life might be way better off without me. im sure it would be... please dont go?

dissapointment seems to be getting me in trouble lately. i get my hopes way too high only to have them be brought down. people wonder why i just end up not caring anymore. there is very few things in my life at the moment to get my hopes high for.... besides the colts winning the superbowl.

ive learned to set the bar low.... very low that way if you get dissapointed, it cant be too far of a fall.