it strikes me sometimes, the ammount of thought i spend trying to perfect my immature fatherly instinct. i constantly think about the kind of father im going to be, what my children will be like, my job, my intrests. i would love to say that all this thought will eventually pay off, but only time can tell me that. im so excited to be a father, yet so scared to fail. will i be the father my kids need? i have about 10-14 years until i am a father. that is crazy. it seems almost mechanical that i become a father. its almost a "well ill have kids around this time", it is so definate it seems so already determined....
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