pacing back and forth, wondering if i should call you. dialing the numbers, listening to my heart pound in my chest. feeling a chill run throughout my body as the ring echos in my ear. "i should hang up! what if her dad answers? what if he sayd i ca never talk to her again!? God! just hang up!" and right then, i hear the most calm voice. a voice that almost always calms me, brings me good news, the only voice htat i trust completly. "hello?" she asks.
"hey! what happened? can you talk?"
"no, i cant talk to you right now."
"ever? or just now?" i started to get really scared and worried.
"i just cant talk to you. i told them everything."
everything?"
"yeah, everything. i told them everything"
"o my god." i started screaming to myself. the sound of the unheard yells inturrupt me for a second.
"but i have to go, ill talk to you later."
"oh, alright, bye." what a shitty response =/ blah
"bye"
my mind races thinking up new possibilities of what happened. previously wanting to take a bath, the idea now does not seem so great. "i have to wait by the phone. what if she calls? just wait till she calls." now, i sit here, waiting, writing, thinking, and breaking down. waiting for a call that hasnt, isnt, and will most likely never come. could this one be our down fall?
i must say, i am soo happy i didnt do what they had wanted me to do tonight. soo glad. =]
i love you.
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