i wish...

i have told you, for the past few weeks there was little chance of being together, for us continuing the amazing strech of moments we once had. we both fell in love on those moments where we would stare into eachothers endless eyes, as we would laugh and cry, and scream, and snap, and hide, listen to my mother fart, pants eachother and live a portion of our lives together. she is nothing to me, meerely a girl that you can not seem to come to grips with the fact that i have a friendship with her. i know it has hurt you in the past but let me tell you, this time she has not taken me. there is no feelings i have for her and there are no feelings she has for me. i would not be able to bare the sight of having a relationship with her and then seeign you. there is no denying the fact that we had an amazing connection, one that, if you leave, will be deeply missed. we still have this connection, but it seems hidden, or guarded under "blankets" that we put over ourself to not get too close. lets unvail ourselfs. not that we have to have a relationship, but ive told everyone, even you, that your one of my few best friends. i dont want to lose that chunk of my heart that is yours. i understand if you have moved on, if you will move on because thats how life works, but just know that i will always be here ready to open myself up to you. ive never been so amazed by anyone like you have amazed me. i have played with you and tooled you around only to find your breaking point. to see how strong you are. to see how much presure is needed to break you. and, yes, it was inhumane. it was wrong and selfish. but i only regret one thing out of this "cloud 9" expierence that i have had with you. and that is leaving you. its amazing how neglectful i can be towards my own feelings. there is one girl that is my perfect match and that is you. but will i take it? no, i will not accept that because, well i dont know. but i know that your the perfect girl for me but i continue to search. your everything im looking for. your smart, cute, amazing, filled of jokes, beautiful, sweet, respectful, loving, you can strike me with emotion although i dont show it.

I need you to know, that your my favorite part of highschool. 1, and 2.... im a boy, that has been hardened by heartbreak. so please, when your ready and if you want, crack this casing off of my heart once more like you have done ever so often.

if you are leaving this friendship, as previously stated, i understand and respect that.

i wish your life becomes as lively as your emotions
i wish you find that man that strives to make you happy.
i wish you have fun and happy highschool years.
i wish you go to the college of your dreams because believe me sweetie, you have earned all of it.
i wish you become that writer you want to be.
i wish you write your heart out everywhere you go.
i wish you have a successful life.
i wish you would remember me and all we had a few short weeks ago.
i wish you could know my love for you.
i wish you could know how i long to be with you, but wont accept it.
i wish you the absolute very best.

P.S. dont let dumb guys bring you down. we are worthless, but there is one, maybe two, that are worthy of your absolute love. find that man and make him proud. you will always be loved from someone back at home. your an amazing girl chloe and you make me, your family, and all your friends so proud to have gotten the chance to see you grow in the many ways you have.
stay strong and love life because it will be over before you know it.

i love you,
William James Beaumont