goodnight

i understand its over.
i realize your seriousness in this matter of leaving me. i understand how i have hurt you. at the time of this betrayal to you, we were friends. BEST friends in my opinion. my favorite friend as i told others. my heart is killing at the moment, much like your heart has the past 2 months. as im sure your thinking... "hows a taste of your own medecine?" shit i cant spell worth a damn.
you gave me something so special to you, and unknown to you, very special to me. i wish i hadnt taken that from you because i wasnt worth it. im sure your nodding your head right now. i was not worth your time, or your emotions.

i love you. you probally just had a little chuckle. i love you chloe. the feelings i had for you were much different then the ones you had for me, but much like yours was how strong mine were for you. i wouldnt let danger touch you. i will not. i will be your protector and your brother and your best friend. as you know with your sister, siblings fight and hate eachother and fall back in love. i have a feeling that you and i will continue this cycle as normal siblings continue to do all over the world. we were meant to be friends chloe, and possibly a married couple. ya know ive had visionsof us being married. trippy because when i see you i still see those visions. i will not express to the greatest degree my feelings for you now because you already know them. i was affraid of her taking me when i had relationship feelings for you. but not anymore. we are, or you are my best friend and i have no more relationship feelings for you. i love you yes, but i love you like you love your sister. like a father loves his daughter. and well if your religious, like god loves his followers.

she makes me happy. its true but what her and i have is not concrete yet, im not sure if it ever will be. i told you i told you i told you. i told you that it would hurt you more then it would hurt you to wait to find out. I TOLD YOU! god damnit chloe listen to me next time. i havent cried like this since, well since alix left me. and then i cried for 20 minutes, this has taken an hour and 10 just to write to here.

my friend asked why i was crying. my response is "my best friend just left me." her response was "well who ever he or she is is a bitch!" my response... "no dont talk about her like that, i love that girl, she deserves everything i could possibly give her and more. i love her so much. and i ruined what we had" her response . "then why did she leave you? you dont have to explain actually. ok but then she isnt a bitch. im sure she will come back to you." my response " no i need to be the one to go back to her this time. she deserves everything in the world and she deserves to feel love once more." i love you chloe.

i need you to do something for me. you probally just got a burst of anger inside you. i need you to not hate halee. you and i are much better friends then you and halee. i can take your anger, i can take your hate and your hits. i can. not her. please, hate me in place of her. thats all i can ask of you.

you can not have lost trust for me. i know you havent. our filled of love for one another like oceans fill with water. you can not empty it. you may be able to take some out and put some back in but there is no empting the vast ocean.

i cant ask for you not to leave me only because that would put you in a bad, or worse mood. If my thoughts and dreams are correct, we will attract eachother once more, in a day, a week or a year from now. we are inseperable. when you left, i lost a part of me. a part that is vital to me. whos going to take your place? there isnt anyone better.

dont forget about us. k? to not have me be a part of your heart is an actual clean break. there are little threads... or twigs that are holding us together... depending on what your breaking (theorietically) (want to help me learn how to spell? please? thanks =])

And i swear you dont have to go. i thought we could wait for the fire works i thought we could wait for the fire show. you dont have to go chloe. but if you must, the world is waiting for you. your a great girl. an AMAZING girl might i add. one, that i regret hurting.

well, its 12 13 right now and ive had 3 people say happy birthday to me.... all of which while im balling my eyes out. well im going to cry myself to sleep. ugh.

goodnight,
Love,
William James Beaumont