every 15 minutes

i thought i would laugh. joke with my friends about it. maybe even point and gauf about you being dead. i laughed o yes i laughed. but that was before i saw anything. i told my friends that you had died and how funny it was. some, mainly girls, said "aww that sucks" and the guys laughed and gave me a hi-five. so, 10 50 came along and it was time to go out to see the scene.

walking up the bleachers hearing my named called by ally to come sit with her. i thought that ally and i might laugh together so it sounded like a good idea. we sat, with the sun on us, not to hot, not to chilly. i listened to the dumb guys in the big group in the middle making jokes and laughing and saying rude things. we watched the white curtain that blocked the viewing of the car crash. soon enough, the police woman picked up the microphone and started talking. telling us about the dangers of alcohol and driving. the people pulled the curtain away to unveil the scene. one of those people, who i quickly spotted out of the group was you. i started tearing up, looking at you with your grey and black makeup on. to think that you had died, even though it was not reality, was hurting me. immediately, thoughts from the past started flooding my mind. i couldnt stop thinking about our 16 months that i consider to be yours. while i was lost in this story of mine, ally was talking in the backround about you and you staring at her. it was funny because i thought you were looking at me, that we were actually making peaceful eye contact. but i know you wernt looking at eaither of us, that you were merely gazing in our direction.

this made me think. why dont we like eachother? i think that it isnt that at all no matter what shit we talk about eachother. it think it all has to do with outside people or influences. your well aware of what im speaking of. but reguardless, i wish we could be friends. we always said we would love eachother forever, and i still love you. not in the same way, buti do and i would love to be friends with the girl i spent 16 months of my life with.

will i ever give this to you? i doubt it. do you care? 99.5% no.

always and forever,
your friend,
William Beaumont