good bye

i love you. ive loved you for the past 19 months. your the one person that i am positive ive loved. i get so mad at that thing your with not because he opens his big fucked up mouth, but becaues he has you. he trys to make me mad by telling me stuff about my friends even though i dont care about that stuff, let him know that if he wants to hurt me, that he needs to point out that he has you and that i dont. your an amazing girl i hope you know. your a beautifuly, wise, lovely woman. even now, 3 months later, i still think about only you when i hear love songs. i try to think about other girls, but like always, your the only name that comes up. i hope your happy. truely, without a doubt, you look like it. if i could have anyone respect me id pray it would be you. you will never read this i know, but it feels like a releif to get this off my chest.
my analogies you were so good with. climbing a mountain, cars, animals, flowers, electronics. no matter how obscure it was, you would always understand it, always laugh, always make me laugh. now that we are over, there is one girl that i have really opened myself up too but her and i didnt work out. i cant get close to anyone anymore because i dont want to get hurt. see this is what i do. ill like a girl, but i dont like her too much to where she is the only girl i talk to because then when she ends it, i have other girls to lean on. i wont let myself get hurt, i WILL NOT get hurt again like you hurt me. you truely murdered me, truely suffocated me. i wont apologise for anything i have done because, thats in the past and that has gotten you to where you are now. i hope he makes you smile more then i did.
if your someone that is close to me, you will know who i am writing about. you will understand waht i am saying.
i love you special someone.
sweat dreams