still

it doesnt need to be written out, letter by letter, that this whole blog is about you. from the day i met you, till the day i felt i hit a new chapter. you dont know how much i love you. i always think aobut you. im constantly missing you. i always miss you. always wish i could kiss you. who knows, i might always miss you. i might always love you this much. and i might never be able to be with you. im not sure. i believe now more than ever that we will be together some day. dont wait for me though.

ya know im really glad i got to have this chapter... this new chapter. it gave me a chance to do alot of things. meet new people, have attractions for new people, realize that other people can make me happy, but not joyful. ya know, that type of happy where you could be happy the whole day... but it seems just very fragile. haha i know im a stonner, but im going to use this analogy. its like when you think you see a nice snap in the bowl, so you get excited and then you go to pack it down and you realize that its all just ash. its nice, but you realize its nothing like the real deal (you). i refuse to let these feelings disrupt kari and i. i refuse. i dont let it because, like i said, i am really happy. and no one, (besides you) has made me this way ina long time.

i do realize that this blog is one that you dont check as often, if ever. so, when youhappen to find this, let me know. just tell me that you read it.
i love you chloe.
still, after everything.