remember

you are the one person i know that i want. your presence never fails to be in my thoughts. we are best friends although our friendship is one of the weirdest i have ever had. you and i both know that i should have picked you and not the other girl. it would have been perfect. you have grown up so much since our last meeting and everyday i get more envious of all the guys that get to see you because that is the one thing id want to do. i just wish i could be with you. no one knows of these feelings because, they are dormant, suppressed by reality, invisible, yet they are untarnished from time. my guess is that they will continue to be like this for a long long time. we always talk about seeing eachother once more and i always get the butterflies, but in the end, it never ceases to dissapoint. man the saying. "you always want what you can not have." has never been more true to me. i wish i could see you more. when ever i ask "who do you have feelings for?" you always respons "....... and you of course." is that true or is it just the feeling of dissapoint you wish not to feel? we have been friends for so long yet, i know very little about you. i think that if we meet some how, we will fall into the deeps of love once more as we have done on previous encounters. or, on a negative note, we could be completly awkward and not gain any feelings what so ever. i cant believe i cried, legitly cried after watching you leave on that bus. there was something that left with you that i long for ever so much.
i hate myself so much for having these feelings because they arent going anywhere until we see eachother. i hate it, but i love you. these past 4 months i havent said "i love you" to anyone and meant it more than friends, but if iwere to say the closest contestant to actually having me mean it in a relationship way would be you. you have never failed to be there for me, to talk to me, to entertain me and i never want to fail you.
please, lets see eachother soon

p.s. to my best friend reading this; dont ask who this is about. im sure you know but do not ask me